Vitoria’s secret is that they put sexy women on their commercials to get your lover or crush to buy you expensive tit holders because they think you look just as sexy as those models on TV.

cliffsfords:

damn no wonder bruno mars was locked out of heaven he couldn’t reach the doorknob

cokeflow:

tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands

city-glow-after-dark:

mahlarchuck:

atlasnerd:

swaginageorge:

seeing a hot guy walk by like

Reblogging for the sheer hilarity of the gif.

It would be a mistake not to

“Four score and one booty ago damn that’s a fine ass”

yellowberet:

ghostmoritz:

yellowberet:

our friend noah

almost got mugged today

they were like “give us your money”

and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY

and it worked

WHAT THE FUCK????

me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back

WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER

garchornps:

being put in charge of small children like

carmillaboostein:

when you like someone and suddenly their name is the prettiest name you’ve ever heard, even if it’s the plainest and most common name on the planet, but you adore it anyway because it’s theirs.